Northcutt's go to Skybar

My youngest brother recently turned 19.  Among my brothers and myself, Spencer is most definitely the "Man about town."  He is the type of person that attracts other people.  I was talking to him the day before his birthday and asked what he wanted to do to celebrate the big one niner.  He said, "Well, I am going to Skybar with Sarah [his girlfriend] and some friends."  Uh, huh.  So, The Skybar is a place of much interest.  It is "the" bar in Auburn that allows people under 21 in, only on Wednesday nights.  On any given weekend night, it is filled with my Greek sisters and brothers.  On Wednesday nights there is a similar yet slightly different crowd of upperclassmen creepers and underclassmen girls on the prowl.  Never-the-less, it is the place to be for 19 year olds on a Wednesday night.  Spencer went on to say, "Why don't you come with us, little girl?  Would you come?  Have you ever been there?  Would you really come, little girl?"  I do not understand the implication that I have never been to a prominent Auburn hot spot nor the accusation that I would not go to the location of his choice for my little brother's birthday.  He went on to request the presence of my mom and dad at The Skybar and was again skeptical of the fact that they would go.
Well, we went.  My parents and I got there before Spencer, because he was waiting for Sarah to get ready.  We all had on work clothes which were in strong contrast to the lovely skirts and tasteful eye shadow of the normal attendees.  While we waited for Spencer, my mom had a Jack 'n' Coke, and we scoped the crowd.  I spotted a couple of high school mates and one or two sorority sisters.  My mom sited a boy from her religion class that she had been wanting to talk to all semester.  She assumed by the way that he spoke that he was pretty bright but was amazed by the way his hair stuck straight up when he came to class.  She yelled, "Hey, yellow shirt, hey!"  She, in fact, did not know his name, but he recognized her and came to speak.  She asked him why his hair looked so nice and flat today.  He responded that there is more time to comb your hair in the afternoon than there is before 8 o'clock in the morning.
When Spencer arrived he was surprised and proud to find that we had actually come and proceeded to introduce us to all of his friends. Once we had met everyone and said our hellos I gave my mom a quick tour of The Skybar dance room in the back.  She was amazed at how large it was and noted that it would be a great place for a dance party.  I told her that it was in deed and that we should have one sometime.
This is the end of the story. I suppose Spencer had a good birthday.  He was happy to be the only boy to ever invite his parents to The Skybar for his birthday, and my parents were happy to go.
BTW We are still suspicious as to why Spencer did not have X's on his hands that evening...

Running Numbers

I am slightly more physically fit than I may appear.  Although it is true that I can not jump, I do occasionally enjoy a run and love to speed walk and do gym classes.  Gym classes are my favorite, because they keep my mind occupied on what I am doing for a whole hour.  I am focused on what the next move is and don't get distracted by what kind of studying I have to do or what I am going to eat for dinner.  Lately though, I have gotten more into running which typically is not my favorite past time, but I have come to enjoy it.  Sometimes, when I run I listen to music, but I don't really have any good work out mixes.  And, I don't really want to spend my spare time making one, even though it would take like five minutes, and I would really use it.  So instead I usually just count while I run.  Most of the time, I count my steps.  There is a very specific way that I count them.  I start with my right leg as the lead leg and count 1 step each time my right leg hits the ground.  I count these "steps" in groups of four.  Each time a take four steps I count that as one on my fingers.  After I have counted to ten and back on my fingers in these groups of four steps, I change and lead with my left leg and repeat the same count.  Once I finish that, I count each finger as two steps and go to ten and back on each leg. This continues on until I am exhausted of running.  I do other combinations of fingers and number groups depending on my mood, and occasionally, instead of counting steps, I count my breathes.  This sounds really crazy, but it keeps my mind focused on the task of running instead of thinking about too much stuff at once.  My mind usually has a couple of things going at once, so using part of it to count allows me to use the other part to think about one other thing instead of a bunch of stuff.  It's weird, but at least I'm exercising.

Gadsden Dating 101

     This is an instructional post on the proper way to take the one you love on a date in Gadsden, AL.
     The boy must first meet the girl of his dreams while "chillin'" with his buddies in the Subway parking lot.  Once the match has been made, the date must be set.  Saturday is the most conventional date day due to the First Friday Street Fair which commonly conflicts with Friday evening plans.  In preparation for the date, the boy must throw away all of the old papers and Dr. Pepper bottles that have accumulated in the passenger floor board of his pick-up.  He must then wipe the crumbs collecting in the seat out the door with his hand.  The girl must call all of her friends to make sure that everyone knows who she is going on a date with Saturday night so that her friends can then pass this crucial information on to the rest of their friends and acquaintances.
     There is a very strict dress code for a Saturday night on the town in Gadsden.  The boy must wear jeans that he purchased already having rips and or holes as well as a well worn or faded appearance.  His shirt must be a polo, preferably from aeropostle, and the ensemble is completed with a pair of flip flops and a prescribed amount of hair product.  The girl should wear a jean skirt that appears to be tattered around the edges with some sort of camisole that is brightly colored and well fitted.  It is typical that she also wear flip flops.
     After picking up his date, the boy will drive to the fanciest restaurant in town, The Red Lobster.  In exchange for his name and smoking preference, the hostess will bestow a table indicator device on the couple.  They will then proceed to the waiting area bar that is well stocked and ready to please where she will order the Fruitastic drink of the day and he will "just have" a Budweiser.  After enjoying a basket of Cheddar Bay Biscuits, Iceburg Salad with Ranch Dressing, and a Lobster Fest entree, they will ponder dessert but only ask for the check. 
     Following dinner the date must continue to the Premiere Cinema 16 located inside the Gadsden Mall, "It's where to shop.", between the Sears and Belk.  Although it is unacceptable to put down the armrest between the daters, at least one of the outside armrest must be used to hold the Coke Icee they share.
     The evening ends as the boy drops the girl off at her house.  The boy can be assured a kiss:  if the girl had a good time, she will want him to ask her out again, and if she did not, she will feel sorry for him and not want him to be sad, so he will receive a pity kiss.  These kisses with conflicting meanings can lead to uncertainty and confusion on the part of the boy.  However, he can soon clear up any doubt by asking his friends if she had a good time, because the girl will have told her friends about the date in its entirety who will, in turn, tell the boy's friends everything she has said.

Oh yes, there's more

After a lifetime of similar experiences, I am immune to embarrassment and choose to see these things as amusing.  When I told my friend CeeCee this story, she decided that we needed to seize the moment and not let Bennett get away with only a single fortune cookie encounter.  In the wake of this decision, we formed a plan. We would go to The New China restaurant and get a box full of cookies.  We then wrote giant fortunes on strips of paper including topics such as the girls of the IB '06 class think you have a nice butt, which he did.  That night, we collected all of our supplies and headed out.  I need to paint a picture.  Bennett lived down a long driveway that only has three houses at the end of it.  This driveway is on a pretty major road and does not afford one much cover, even at night.  So, CeeCee and I pull into the end of the driveway, and CeeCee starts to get out of the car.  But of course, CeeCee forgot to take off her seat belt and has to put everything down and undo it.  Thank heavens for that seat belt, because as soon as she opened the car door, we saw a car coming toward us.  It was unmistakably Bennett's hand-me-down teal and tan Mercedes sedan that use to be his mom's.  My accomplice (or puppet master, I'm not really sure which) leaped back into the car, and I attempted to throw the car in reverse.  Oh wait, that's neutral.  We started rolling down the hill toward the target, now screaming in unison.  I quickly put the car in real reverse and jetted out onto the road.  Still screaming and barreling down the street, I realized that I was on the wrong side of the road, at least for here in America.  I righted myself, and CeeCee and I attempted to catch our breath.  Many would abandon ship at this point and abort the mission, but CeeCee and I knew that this was a better time than any because the eagle had left the roost.  We went back and completed the mission, as any true schemer would and laughed all the way home.  We continued to fill Bennett's mailbox for the next few years with various and sundry items.  We have not paid him a visit in several years now though, I hear he is engaged.  I wonder how many cookies his new mailbox can hold?

Fortune Cookies

So, despite my good looks and charm, I didn't really date in high school.  There were, however, many a boy that caught my eye.  One of whom was Mr. Bennett McKenzie.  He was smart and quiet and the president of Student Outreach for Christ.  He was also the apple of most girls in my IB class' eye.  A few of us were telling my mom of the wonder of Bennett one day, and she decided that I needed to go out with him.  She had also recently discovered that she could get the fortunes out of fortune cookies and replace them with her own fortunes.  It was decided that this would be our mode of informing Bennett that he should ask me out.  My whole family helped to create fortunes such as, "I've seen you walking in the hall, how about giving me a call?" (Yes, they rhymed.  Everything my family does has to rhyme for some reason.)  They all had my name and phone number on them.  I just thought it was a really funny joke and went to school the next day not thinking anything of it.  When my mom saw me that afternoon she said, "Did you see Bennett today?"  I was like, "Yeah, I saw him in class, why?"  Madre, "Did he say anything to you?"  Myself, "No...Why?"  Madre, who was friends with the front office lady at my school, brought the fortune cookies we made to the office during school that day and got Mrs. Robertson to call Bennett to the office to open his cookies.  She said that he turned bright red, said nothing, and walked away.  Madre!  I can't say that I was surprised that she actually delivered them, but I was anxious to know how he would respond.  Later that night, I got the call.  "Abby, this is Bennett."  "Hey Bennett, how are you?"  "Good.  So, I got your fortune cookies today."  "Oh, yeah, my mom thought it would be funny to make those."  "Well, I am really flattered, but I don't think my girlfriend would like it very much if we went on a date."  "Oh, yeah, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't like that. I'm sorry, I didn't know you had a girlfriend."  "Like I said, I'm really flattered."  "That's totally ok, I'll see you in class tomorrow."  So, turns out, Bennett had a girlfriend from summer camp that he had been dating for a few years.  She was from Virginia, so not many people knew about her.  Thank you Madre.  At least we tried.  There is more to this story that I will share in a subsequent post...

Weather Wonderland

Sorry, I have been really busy with school, but the lecturer that is now trying to tell me about loop diuretics is boring me to death.  So, here I am.  He looks like Steve Martin, and therefore, should be funny, but he is not.  It makes me sad and disappointed.  Our area has really been struck by some historic weather anomalies recently that everyone is pulling together to power through.  Tyler told me the other day that the Mississippi River is (Steve Martin just told a joke that he said made him laugh, it was not funny, it was about potassium) flooding so much that it is starting to flow backward.  I am not sure if this is scientifically possible or accurate, but I have a suggestion to offer.  All of the Cajuns need to report to duty in their fan boat things at the mouth of the Mississippi down in Louisiana.  All of the fans should be hooked together and placed in the water.  They should turn the fans on backwards and suck the river into the Gulf of Mexico.  Thus, restoring the correct directional flow and decreasing the water levels in areas along the river.  I shared this with someone who was quiet dubious of my idea, but just because an idea is simple does not mean it is not a valuable suggestion.  The first person that wanted to start a restaurant was probably told, "People aren't going to pay you to eat your food."  But the people paid and the fans would suck water if they were given a chance.  Magnesium, lumen voltage, blah, blah, blah

Doogie Howser

I have always had big plans for my life.  When I was eight, I read about Oxford University in England and decided that I would go to college there.  I told one of my parents' friends that, and they were like, "Oh, Mississippi.  That's a great school."  I was insulted, but instead of correcting him, I just smiled and nodded.  One of my biggest inspirations as a child, was Doogie Howser, M.D.  Sixteen and a doctor, what a hunk.  I knew that 16 was a stretch, but I came up with a plan to get it done in only a few more years than that.  I would skip 4th, 6th, and 8th grades; go to 2 years of high school; finish college in 2 years; and then do 4 years of med school.  This would put me graduating from medical school at the age of 19.  Not quite as good as Douglas, but much more realistic.  When I got to skip the 4th grade, I thought I was on my way, but then the man got in my way.  I came to realize that you are not allowed to learn at your own pace in school or elect to cut out topics that are of no significance to your interests.  Despite all of my hard work, they held me down.  As the years have passed, I have come to see the value in taking your time in life (even though I still would have liked to skip some of that dumb stuff they made me learn, ie. whisker plots).  I think that if Doogie were still Doogie and not Barney Stinson, he would say to young me, "I may be the youngest doctor of all time, but I do not have as many friends or experiences as I could have had if I had a normal childhood."