Fortune Cookies

So, despite my good looks and charm, I didn't really date in high school.  There were, however, many a boy that caught my eye.  One of whom was Mr. Bennett McKenzie.  He was smart and quiet and the president of Student Outreach for Christ.  He was also the apple of most girls in my IB class' eye.  A few of us were telling my mom of the wonder of Bennett one day, and she decided that I needed to go out with him.  She had also recently discovered that she could get the fortunes out of fortune cookies and replace them with her own fortunes.  It was decided that this would be our mode of informing Bennett that he should ask me out.  My whole family helped to create fortunes such as, "I've seen you walking in the hall, how about giving me a call?" (Yes, they rhymed.  Everything my family does has to rhyme for some reason.)  They all had my name and phone number on them.  I just thought it was a really funny joke and went to school the next day not thinking anything of it.  When my mom saw me that afternoon she said, "Did you see Bennett today?"  I was like, "Yeah, I saw him in class, why?"  Madre, "Did he say anything to you?"  Myself, "No...Why?"  Madre, who was friends with the front office lady at my school, brought the fortune cookies we made to the office during school that day and got Mrs. Robertson to call Bennett to the office to open his cookies.  She said that he turned bright red, said nothing, and walked away.  Madre!  I can't say that I was surprised that she actually delivered them, but I was anxious to know how he would respond.  Later that night, I got the call.  "Abby, this is Bennett."  "Hey Bennett, how are you?"  "Good.  So, I got your fortune cookies today."  "Oh, yeah, my mom thought it would be funny to make those."  "Well, I am really flattered, but I don't think my girlfriend would like it very much if we went on a date."  "Oh, yeah, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't like that. I'm sorry, I didn't know you had a girlfriend."  "Like I said, I'm really flattered."  "That's totally ok, I'll see you in class tomorrow."  So, turns out, Bennett had a girlfriend from summer camp that he had been dating for a few years.  She was from Virginia, so not many people knew about her.  Thank you Madre.  At least we tried.  There is more to this story that I will share in a subsequent post...

Weather Wonderland

Sorry, I have been really busy with school, but the lecturer that is now trying to tell me about loop diuretics is boring me to death.  So, here I am.  He looks like Steve Martin, and therefore, should be funny, but he is not.  It makes me sad and disappointed.  Our area has really been struck by some historic weather anomalies recently that everyone is pulling together to power through.  Tyler told me the other day that the Mississippi River is (Steve Martin just told a joke that he said made him laugh, it was not funny, it was about potassium) flooding so much that it is starting to flow backward.  I am not sure if this is scientifically possible or accurate, but I have a suggestion to offer.  All of the Cajuns need to report to duty in their fan boat things at the mouth of the Mississippi down in Louisiana.  All of the fans should be hooked together and placed in the water.  They should turn the fans on backwards and suck the river into the Gulf of Mexico.  Thus, restoring the correct directional flow and decreasing the water levels in areas along the river.  I shared this with someone who was quiet dubious of my idea, but just because an idea is simple does not mean it is not a valuable suggestion.  The first person that wanted to start a restaurant was probably told, "People aren't going to pay you to eat your food."  But the people paid and the fans would suck water if they were given a chance.  Magnesium, lumen voltage, blah, blah, blah