Ugruk

Fair Warning:  This post contains pictures that may not be appropriate for those of you who have weak stomachs or support PETA.  It is also long.

Ugruk is Iñupiat for Bearded Seal!  This one is pronounced “Uh-grook.”  But, the “oo” in “grook” is like the “oo” in “hook,” not like the “oo” in “boo.”  Does that make sense?  Ugruk.  The seal come up here in the summer time when the water off the Pacific Northwest gets a little warmer than they prefer.  Here, however, they face a different sort of environmental distress.  It is legal here for the native “subsistence” hunters to hunt the seal.  Hunting them is one of the great challenges of the arctic.  The key is to find a seal that is sunbathing on a piece of floating ice.  I think I have said this before, but during the winter here the ocean, lagoon, and rivers all completely freeze over.  We’re talkin’ drive you car out on the ice frozen.  By this time of year, all the ice has floated about 10 miles out to sea.  This is where you find the Ugruk.  Anyway, you find one laying on the ice and you have to get close enough to get a good shot but not so close that you scare them and they dive into the water.  It is key to get a good clear shot of their neck, because if you shoot without killing them they are likely to slide into the water.  If they do get into the water, you have to get to them immediately or they will sink. 

Once you hit one you have to get it into the boat.  Imagine pulling a 500 pound cow out of the water and into the boat, but this cow was no legs to grab onto, and it’s slick and wet.  Alternatively, you may have to beach your boat on the ice and carry or drag the seal back to the boat.  Once you’ve brought it in, the fun begins.

On Saturday, I was fixing pasta salad to take to a cook out and needed to open the can of olives.  Because God is intricate and wise and funny, there was no can opener in my whole house.  How can you live in Alaska and not own a can opener?  So, I decided to go to Stephanie’s house to borough a can opener.  When I got there, there were several people standing out in the yard with some sort of animal.  After I was introduced to Freida, Pauline, Verne, and Ricky; I said, “Is that a seal.”  “Ugruk?  Yes.  Do you want to help?” 

Here is a very important fact to know about Ugruk.  If it ever gets on you, it will never go away.  You have to bleach absolutely everything it touches, or you will smell like the fishiest fish you have ever smelled, FOR-EV-ER.  So, I politely said, “Uh, I’d love to help, but I’d have to go home and change.   I know about this stuff.  Once it gets on you, it never goes away.”  They laughed and conceded that I would indeed be quite smelly.  I told them I would just watch and learn.  I did end up helping hold up the big part of the seal as they cut it away from the blubber.  They were using this hook to pull it up.  They said, “Hey, help Vern pull that up.”  I grabbed and pulled and almost lifted the seal right off the ground.  “WHOAH, you strong girl!”  I had proven my true Eskimo spirit and was prodded to help further.  I reminded them how much I enjoyed the clothes I was wearing, and respectfully declined.

Sometimes I come across as not being very hardcore, because I am very protective of my outfits.  Each activity has its appropriate ensemble.  If I plan for such activities and dress accordingly, I will do pretty much anything: cave exploration, cliff diving, anaconda hunting, pottery, painting, and Ugruk butchering.

Back to Freida and Pauline. 

These two ladies were wielding their Ulus (Eskimo knives) like nobody’s business. 

 First, they cut the head off.  I’m usually ok with dead animals until I see their little face.

So, pitiful, but this is the Eskimo way of life and has been for 10,000 years.

They cut off his flippers.

Note the Ulu lying next to the flipper.  This is the knife the native people use to butcher all types of animals.  And those narly toenails.

They cut the skin and blubber away from the meat part of the seal.

They will let the blubber sit out over night attached to the skin.

Tomorrow, they will separate the blubber from the skin.  The skin has incredibly soft fur and is used to make gloves, boots, trim coats, and other things that keep you very warm and toasty.  They will cut the blubber up into strips and put them in a bucket.  They will keep the bucket in a cool place for a couple of days, stirring it every now and again.  The fat will eventually render into what is known as Seal Oil.  Seal Oil : Eskimos :: Olive Oil : Italians.  They eat it with everything.  They dip the seal meat in it, they dip fish in it, they use it in salad dressing, it is a multi-purpose ingredient.  I have found that people here have strong opinions toward Seal Oil.  They either love it’s greasy, fishy sumptuousness; or it makes them want to ralph.  I have yet to try it, but I will let you know which category I fall into.

The meat will be hung over night on this structure that Raymond is constructing. 

They allow the meat to dry out and then eat it as is or cook it then eat it depending on their taste.

My madre has taught me that all great spectator sports worth watching are incomplete without an official snack.  Ugruk butchering was no different.  Freida had made some homemade biscuits and cinnamon rolls to tide them over while they worked hard at they craft.  They offered one to me, and I hesitated for a moment because I thought they were simply store bought.  Then Verne added, “My wife makes the best biscuits and cinnamon rolls.”  What?  Homemade baked goods?  I love these people!  Why yes please, I would love one.  I grabbed a biscuit (in Alabama, we would probably actually refer to this as a pop-over roll), tore off a piece, and enjoyed the flaky deliciousness. 

“All for Ugruk, stand up and holler!” 

Btw, I have a picture of the delicious roll, but my flashdrive I use to get the pictures from my laptop to the desktop so they can go online says that it is full eventhough I deleted almost everything on it.  How do I make it not do that?  Is Andy reading this?  or Derek?  or Ashley?